My So-Called Fame

Whelp, the inevitable happened. An angry letter in Westword asking why they write about me so much. A part of me is inclined to agree -- why do they write about me so much? While I've grown to know the writers, it's only through their interviews that I met them. A friend on the "inside" of the newspaper industry told me that it's because "...they're lazy and you write press releases". And it's true, I do write press releases. But hell -- that's my job. I can't help it if other people don't. (And no, haven't slept with anyone on their staff. Not related to anyone, either.) And it is a fact that buzz builds on itself -- one article leads to another leads to another. No one wants to be left out of the story du jour. And like the soup of the day, I also realize -- here today, gone tomorrow.

The big irony is that I don't actually want them to write about me. I want them to write about the gallery, and the events we're doing, and the artists. I want the artists to have the press -- as far as I'm concerned, I'm not really pertinent and there's no need to mention my name. If the gallery was about me and my ego, I suppose I would have named it after myself like so many gallery owners do. But I'd rather be known for my artwork -- Capsule is my day job. It's what I do so I can feel connected to the community. And I feel real pride when I get some artist whose work I believe in their first review. That means more to me than seeing my name in print, anyday.

The aforementioned friend also said it was because "I'm a character". Another friend said, "well, you're doing stuff. More than most people are." But it's really just a function of necessity -- I've got to get the business going, and I don't have any advertising budget -- nothing works like free. With this latest thing in the Denver Post, I didn't even write a press release -- apparently the writer was on the email list. Who knew? But the results were phenomenal, and will go a long way towards keeping the doors open. And that's the goal, and the struggle.

The only time I actually care about being written about is in connection with my artwork. That's the most important thing in my life, besides my husband and family and pets. Getting recognition for the other stuff is alright, but I don't want to be hated. I had my bitter years, and I remember hating the people who were being written about. In hindsight, I know that my work wasn't ready, and I truly feel I've earned whatever attention my work has gotten. But I also know that my writer friend is right -- my years working for the Advocate taught me to write a press release, but it also taught me that writers can be lazy, or at the very least, overburdened and on deadline. Whoever makes it easiest for them to whip something out wins. And I don't have any control at all over if or what they write about me or the gallery, my job is to just put the word out. And my control begins and ends with sending the press release.

So, I guess that makes me a local celebrity. Big whoop. I still say that being the big fish in the small pond is like being the kid that gets to sit at the front of the short bus. I'd like to swim in the ocean. And I want to take as many fishies along for the ride as I can. If we all swim together, we can make a very, very big fish.